SO Not One of My Finer Moments As a Mother...

I can't share this on Facebook because it is simply too stomach-turning and there is no good way to make light of it in a status update, but since only people who love me and trust me and KNOW that I am not neglectful and generally capable of caring for my children read this blog...I just have to share one of my not-so-fine moments as a mother so far.

Yesterday my kids played with razorblades. I'm not kidding.
I was in the kitchen doing dishes (by hand, for the last time! Thank you hubby for fixing my dishwasher), and the kids were playing under the highchairs like they like to do after lunch. (They can push them around and they roll all over the dining room, it's kinda cute) After a couple minutes I realized it'd had suddenly gotten very quiet in my dining room so I went to investigate.
They were in the bathroom. In the "no-no" drawer that houses Daddy's replacement razors (they are all usually tucked neatly into little plastic cases...though this doesn't do much for my case I am sure). Evelyn was waving around an empty handle to a razor. Elijah was sucking. YES SUCKING on the head of a razor!! Words cannot express the drop of my stomach, the cold sweat that broke out all over my body, or how very much I did not want to look into my little boy's mouth at that moment.
Turns out, he had cut his tounge but it was pretty minimal. He actually protested when I took the stinking thing away!! He was oblivious to any sort of pain and while I debated giving him a sippy of milk or even tylenol (I was afraid they might make any cuts he had not noticed suddenly sting), all he wanted was his pacifier and he went right to sleep for his afternoon nap!
So needless to say I breathed a huge sigh of relief and the razors are finding an all-together new place to hang out. Uhg, I just cannot thinking about what that would feel like to run your tounge over a "Mach 5" razor...gives me shudders just thinking about it.

I'm an awesome mom...