Highschool and Weddings

I've been thinking a lot lately about Highschool and Weddings...
Since high school came first I'll beging with that train of thought: Since I tend to spend a lot of time with or thinking about high schoolers (no it's not weird, it's my job:), I find myself transported back to my four years of awkwardness quite often and, disturbingly, quite clearly.

I've always considered myself as having a pretty good memory and am especially responsive to smell triggers. An example of this, for those of you that know who I'm talking about – smelling the Original Abercrombie and Fitch Cologne brings back sudden memories of Nate (my high school love). I'm also subject to flashbacks of Kenny (another boy) when I drive by Mongolian Barbecue and smell their food cooking (he worked there and became, for lack of a better word, quite saturated with that smell...it was almost overpowering at times but of course, I loved it.)

Come to think of it, Nate wore a lot of that cologne too... But less potent smells do it to me as well: the smell of spring reminds me of one particular spring/summer – the one between Junior and Senior years. It was the summer I spent the majority of my time with a group of kids from FHC (Kenny is included in that- yikes), and my best friend at the time, Lisa. We spent a lot of time hanging out outside on, yes – on, our cars and just generally "be-ing." It's this particular memory that makes me think about the high school yearst--- we spent a lot of time doing nothing. .. And loving it.

For instance, one time Lisa, Rose, Brian, Justin and myself parked our car at Siedman park, walked about a mile into the park to an area made mostly of sand dunes, laid down, and took a nap. (on Mexican blankets we'd picked up at a gas station on our way home from Florida, of course) Then we got up and walked out. I don't remember deciding to do this, I don't remember talking about going or even talking while we were there, I don't have any clue why we did it... I do remember there was a guy smoking pot not too far away so maybe the smell made us sleepy, but that was what we did. It was normal, it was entertaining, it was how we passed our time.

I look at my high school kids now and remember exactly how simple and yet dramatic life was. I remember that going to the prom at another school was a huge deal. I remember that going to prom at your own school was a big deal, especially if you had the right date. Does anyone besides me look back and realize that we spent as much time getting ready for school dances as we did getting ready on our wedding days? No, really. Had invitations been allowed I'm sure more than one of us would have invited every living person we knew to come check us out in our hot dress with our hot date. (except we never would have admitted this back then, because we wanted to seem nonchalant and act like it "was no big deal.") Kids today seem to have the publicity stuff down pretty well though, as I've seen pictures of prom nights go up on facebook or blogs when it was still technically prom night according to my watch!

anyways, where was I going with all this? oh yeah, I remember. Ha. So that I don't forget all together I would like to write down a few of these feelings so I can relate to my own kids one day just a little more. It's not that my parents did a bad job of this and I'm desperate for a way to do it better, it's just that I can already see in just the 6 years since I graduated from high school how much I have already forgotten. I am still young enough that alot of the memories pop right back when I encounter a story similar to my own, but I am still amazed at how much I've forgotten and have had to almost force myself to remember in an effort to understand the kids I work with better. How long before I can't even make myself remember anymore? I'm sure I'll remember the stories but not the feelings. Those are what I want to preserve. So I might try it. Or maybe I'll just talk about trying it...but either way, high schoolers are cool and I hope I don't ever completely forget what it was really like to be one.

Now, weddings. You know how they say a girl spends her entire childhood up to her wedding day thinking about her wedding day? Does anyone ever mention what a girl does after her wedding is over? Us girls have spent these 20+ years daydreaming about our weddings and the men we are going to marry and what we will look like and what it will feel like, and who it will be and when it will be, and then...it's over. One day ends a lifetime of planning and dreaming. Sure, you're married and you love your husband, blah blah blah (that's not the point ;)

For me at least, and I suspect a lot of girls were like this too - when I pictured my wedding day as a kid or even a teenager, it wasn't exactly about the groom -he was a nameless, faceless (but exceptionally good looking, of course) blob in a tuxedo who gave me a big shiny diamond and lots of flowers. My wedding day was always about me, what I would look like, what I would wear, I chose what he would wear too but that's just another bit of control. I dreamed about what colors would be selected, and how everyone would ooh and ahh over me in my beautiful dress, and be envious of me. Laugh all you want but you all know this is true, at least to some extent-when you don't know who you're going to marry you can't exactly day dream about how in love you are with him!! Weddings to little girls are about being a princess, and though I'd like to say that was the complete opposite of the truth when I reached adult hood- it wasn't. By the time i got married it was less and less about me and more and more about the relationship, but it was still largely fulfilling a daydream and getting to be a princess for the day.

Strangely though, as much as I would love to do that day all over again, having been married has made me enjoy weddings just that much more. For one thing, I am no longer preoccupied with thinking about my own wedding and what I will or will not do. I'm not squirreling away tidbits and ideas for myself, I am just sitting back and enjoying. It is also the only way that a married woman can keep that daydream alive. We get to share in our friends' excitement and reminisce on our own feelings that day. So really, the daydream never ends. As long as there are good friends and weddings we can all go one feeling like princesses.
Congratulations to all my recently and soon-to-be-wed friends!!!