It's No Fun to Learn The Hard Way...

Here are a few things Samson has learned “the hard way” over the past few months:

It is impossible to come to a dead halt from running full tilt when there is 1/2” of ice under the snow. This only results in a face full of snow and skidding 6 feet on your side.

When you pee on Mom and Dad's bed you get your nose rubbed in it, thrown outside by the skin on the back of your neck, and confined to your cage for a loooong time. You are only let out once Mom and Dad are sure they won't kill you.

Mastiffs are big, very big. But kinda dumb.

Some small dogs bite back.

Snowballs, while fun to catch, are very hard to find when you drop them.

Peeing into the wind really does result in wet hind legs.

Cats are faster and more graceful than you. If they can't outrun you, they will turn around and smack you ten times across the face before you can say “oh sh**”

Cats swear (and can send you to hell) with their eyes.

It's really annoying to learn new tricks on wood floors- you slip all over the place!

You WILL get blamed no matter who made it smell bad in here. That's your payment for years of free food and warm beds.

If you're going to dig holes under fences during a big thaw in Michigan, you better learn to hold your breath so you can duck through the puddles.

It's not a good idea to jump on the fence while wearing a collar – it can get stuck and leave you dangling from the fence.

Cat boxes are full of goodies. However, watch out for Mom because she gets really mad at you when you come upstairs with kitty litter on your nose. Dad just thinks its funny.

When you chew up bedding, it ends up in your cage as your new “blankie.”

If you're thirsty, water directly from the tap is the best. Otherwise wait for someone to take a shower so you can help them get dry by licking off their legs.

NILIF- Nothing in Life is Free

Curling irons are hot- don't lick them.

If you don't behave on the collar that is made of soft, supple, leather. They're gonna bring out the prongs!

Dogs might get to know each other by sniffing rear ends, but CATS do not appreciate it.

French fries are better eaten then played with.

Humping legs will just get you a swift kick to the groin...

...and jumping just gets vinegar sprayed in your face :)

Go ahead, break out of the yard, but then what?

And finally... You ARE NOT the biggest, fiercest dog in the world, so when you meet a bigger dog, you better be ready to lay down on your back and beg for mercy!

new addiction

My newest addiction, for those of you pet-lovers out there: Craigslist pet forum. If you can't find me, I'm there...

with all this strange weather...

we get lots of mud. so Sam thinks coming inside from outside means a bath...

updates

The neighborhood boys on New Years...Jeff, Steve, Andre, Jamie, and Steve's friend.

The girls...Rachel, Anna, Meghan, Beth, Me...oh and Jamie.

Andy playing with our favorite new toy for Christmas - Guitar Hero!

Oh man.

SNOW PUPPY!

He's chewing on a stick, not vomitting snow...

Can't catch me!

Everybody Loves a Good "Chase"

This is Sammy's motto.

Is it the motto of every 6 month old puppy? I don't know, but it certainly applies well to life with Samson.

This is a lesson I learned all too well on Friday night....Get ready, you know what's coming: a long....involved....animal story.

SO, Mr. Sammy-Whammy, being a pup adopted from the Kent County Animal Shelter, has a mysterious background which is unknown to everyone but Samson himself. Since he has yet to learn English and therefore cannot explain life pre-Heemstra family to me, I decided that it would be a good idea to get his medical records (from his stay at the shelter) to the vet, and make sure that we are all up-to-date on vaccines and boosters. After much debate, it was decided that Samson did not need further vaccination at this point, but my awesome vet wanted to see him for a “puppy wellness exam” to make sure that he is healthy and all systems are a go. Most of you might say this is just a way to get more money out of me, but being a doting animal parent, and considering we know nothing about this dog's background, I figured it was a good idea to do it just this once. (I also get a great discount from my vet since I am an adoptive parent of one of her rescue kitties from Crash's Landing, so my vet bills are never very high (http://www.crashslanding.org ))This all sounds fine and dandy right? Take the new puppy to the vet for a little puppy exam- we get in, we get out, and Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas we're all set.

Right? Wrong.

Here's why: Mr. Whitaker is due for his rabies vaccination and needed an appointment as well...I, being the confident pet owner that I am, decided that it would be best to just kill two birds with one stone and get them both in at once. (whats one cat and a dog when you've worked at a Ranch with a herd of fifty horses, four goats, three mini horses, a gaggle of chickens, kittens, bunnies, one sheep, and llama?).

Um, I guess I never tried putting them all in a car.

Here was my plan that I worked out on the way home from work: I'd run in the house (I was running late, of course), let Samson outside to pee, grab Whit, throw him in the cage, cover the cage with a blanket, put him in the backseat of the car, gather up Samson, throw him in the front seat, and we'd be on our merry way. This should have worked fine. HOWEVER, I did not take into account the broken cat kennel or the fact that Whit would begin yowling the moment the cold air of the outdoors hit him smack in the face. By the time I got Samson in the car he had a pretty darn good idea of what was under that square-shaped blanket in the back and he knew that it was his first and best chance to get a really good look at one of those elusive cats.

Our ride to the vet was spent with me steering with one hand while holding Samson in a choke hold by the collar in the other. At stop lights I'd reach back and try to shove Whit back in the cage by the face while Samson inevitably knocked the car into neutral or park. Oye.

When we reached the vet I let out a big sigh of relief and gathered up both animals to head inside...until we reached the front door. Whit, terrified as he was, had apparently been plotting his escape during the entire car ride and while I opened the door to the vet's office and was greeted by the nurses, Whit made a run for it...Followed by Samson.The next few seconds where punctuated by my screams and the sound of crashing bushes. Poor Whit- my big old fat cat – was tearing helter-skelter along the side of the building while Samson barreled after him with a big grin on his puppy face. All I could see was the blobbule that is Whit running, followed by a streak of black and tan.

I lost sight of them until I reached the back door where I found Whit cowering by the glass door, no doubt thinking: “Let me in- this thing is gonna murder me!!” followed by a string of obscenities, and Samson a few feet away preparing to do his business. (Good Boy, go potty:)

One of the nurses came skidding around the corner just as I was scooping up Whit. She grabbed Samson and it was decided we better just go inside through this door. The lot of us paraded through the entire office; surgery rooms, kennels, exam rooms, while I blushed furiously and muttered something about how “they aren't quite used to each other yet.”

No kidding.

I have to say, Whit actually took the whole thing quite well. Being a past stray, I think he did not like the prospect of life as a street cat and therefore headed for the nearest door. If it had been Louis, I'm pretty sure I'd never have seen him again. Once in the examination room Whit sat quietly on the table while Sam bounded up and down trying to see the cat, then perched precariously on an old scale (all four feet on the little square foot of space. 43 ½ lbs, mind you), and the vet grinned at me like this is totally normal. (it probably is for her.)

When all was said and done I had one terrified kitty who sat quietly in his cage the whole way home; freshly vaccinated, and one large puppy; who's nails it took three people to clip, passed out on the front seat.

So, for those of you that think you'll lose your mind when your kids are “fighting like cats and dogs,” take to heart the fact that they actually are NOT cats and dogs. :)

From now on, it's separate appointments for all!!!

Merry Christmas!!
From,
The Heemstra Family.

Offering a Helping Paw

I know, I know. It's been too long. But life has been hectic and I rarely have the computer! Since my last post we have gotten new windows (yay!), had a couple of random pet-peeing incidents, and about twelve Christmas parties. Samson has also grown and is getting smarter by the day.
The best story I have of Samson is that he has now learned that if a toy "wanders" into the bedroom, he is allowed to retrieve it. So now, rather than the occasional rolling ball followed by Sammy tentatively picking it up in his teeth and backing out of the room, toys of every shape and size often come flying into the bedroom "of their own free will." Sammy, acting coy, sneaks in after them and pauses to sniff around. This is happening more and more frequently and I've now caught him on several occasions nudging toys covertly into the room.
Oh the joys of having a smart dog!!!

Today he helped with picture hanging by bringing Dad the hammer. Here are a few highlights:

and the finished product! ignore the nail hole...

surprises around every corner

It's just been one change after another in the Heemstra household over the last few weeks, but hopefully this will be the last for awhile. Today, we entered puppy-parenthood! While we were planning to get a dog eventually, we did not intend to bring one home on November 29th.

My wonderful hubby was planning to get me a dog for Christmas but decided to go to the Humane Society today to check out the situation and see what went into adopting. Apparently the Humane Society does not hold dogs and you are allowed to bring a dog home with you upon your first meeting (I've never heard of this before). So, when Andy ran into Tweedle, a dog we had seen on the petfinder.com website a few weeks ago and fell in love, (awwww) it was do-or-die time. "Tweedle" was sitting quitely in his cage watching Andy walk around when all the other dogs were barking their heads off. When Andy asked to see him in a visiting room, he jumped all over Andy and made it very well known that he wanted to be taken home. After much deliberation, we decided that Andy should return to the Humane Society this afternoon and bring Tweedle home.

It has been an afternoon to remember, the first time I met our new dog he did not even give me a chance to say hi, he immediately began licking my face. At a visit to PetSmart he wanted to meet all the other dogs and had fun entertaining all the sales people as he dragged us around the store. We purchased all the puppy necessities- a cage, food, food and water bowls, a brush, a chew toy, rawhide bone, collar and leash, and of course, treats...and headed home to meet the kitties. Just kidding, they are hidden away in the basement at the moment. Not, however until after Louis caught sight of him and immediately every hair stood on end and he let out an unearthly hiss.

Anyways, Tweedle has since been renamed so meet Samson!!!